SAINTS AND SCHOLARS
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      • Fatal Flaws
      • Final Final: The Last Newspaper
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      • The Girl as Good as Mozart
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      • klick-klock
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      • Lookalike
      • Love Nothing Novel
      • The Lunacy and the Lace
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      • Mr. In-Between
      • My Brother's Science Project
      • A Nice Quiet Space
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      • Not Fields Afar
      • The Note
      • On Briarwood Roof
      • One-Two Punch//Delivered
      • One Way Ticket
      • Out of Limelight
      • Parallel You
      • The Passenger
      • Perfect
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Picture
Stewart Survives the 7th

Ethan Hamill
​It was a seventh inning that would have made
Abner Doubleday cry.  But Stewart was made
of sterner stuff.  The trouble, to begin with, was
not of his making.  The singer scheduled to
deliver God Bless America, a veteran
of two wars, was felled by a foul-ball liner in
the top of the inning.  A bad harbinger.  The
replacement warbler, a decorated chef, failed
miserably in his falsetto rendition.  Now it was
up to Stewart with cameras whirring in the
centerfield bleachers to atone in his proposal
to his girlfriend Wendy.  He handed her the
Crackerjack box. Wendy opened it, dug in
and retrieved a plastic ring endowed with the
head of a clown with a bulbous nose.  In his
nervousness, Stewart had not been watching.
The 40, 214 who were watching saw a first:
the would-be bride stormed off, leaving Stewart
to begin fishing inside the Crackerjack box in
panicked search of the real engagement ring.
But things got worse.  Stewart committed the
cardinal sin of baseball by saying on-camera
and on-microphone:  "Well, at least our starter
has a no-hitter going."  A loud moan gasped forth
from the 40,214 at this grave faux pas and an even
louder crack resounded from the lead-off batter
in the top of the eighth.  The ball landed two
rows in front of Stewart and ignited a six-run
rally, dooming the hometown favorites to
a 6 to 3 loss.

Thank goodness for make-up doubleheaders.

The home team rebounded with a convincing
8 to 3 victory, Stewart found the real ring, a
gold band with a beautiful rock, and got three
proposals for matrimony on the spot, all of
which he was seriously considering.
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  • Home
  • Roadmap to HEAVEN
    • Title Index >
      • .005
      • 8086
      • A Letter From Your Secretary
      • A Woman's Pride
      • Aliens or Angels?
      • Alpha Beta Traitor
      • Amy And Amy And
      • Are You Telling Me?
      • Baby Blue Sunbeam
      • Ballpark Hero
      • Barn Quilts
      • Beautiful with Braces
      • Because it Still Rains
      • Bend
      • Better
      • Better Yet
      • The Big Yellow Elopement Machine
      • Blind Date
      • Brother
      • Cadmium Gold
      • Calico Charms
      • Caramels
      • Carrie Me Back
      • Cat in the Corner Chair
      • CATCH from 13 Stories
      • Cat's Eyes
      • The Cherry Spot
      • The Closer Wins a Steak
      • Cloud
      • Coffee Shop HEARTS 2
      • Company
      • Confessional
      • Confetti
      • Cover!
      • Cover Art Gallery
      • The Dad Who Was 24-Feet Tall
      • The Day the Avanti Didn't Start
      • Days of Christmas
      • The Devil Sells His Soul
      • Double Sugar
      • The Ebullience of Being Elaina Brightman
      • Escape
      • Everybody's Teddy
      • Fall of Winter
      • Fatal Flaws
      • Final Final: The Last Newspaper
      • Forgiveness Day
      • The Girl as Good as Mozart
      • The Girl Who Never Was
      • Girl With Backpack
      • Grand Lady
      • Guardian
      • Hard-Boiled, Soft-Headed
      • The Heart of an Unknown Soldier
      • Help Wanted, Hope Needed
      • Hurt
      • I Am Afraid of My Feelings
      • I Don't Care if I Ever Come Back
      • I Will Be Leaving
      • I Wonder Where He is Now
      • In the Throes of Coca Coma
      • Jailhouse Judy
      • Jigsaw
      • Kansas City
      • The Kid Goes 0 for April
      • KISS
      • Kiss Me, Kate-Lynn
      • klick-klock
      • The Last Elevator Girl
      • Lawyer Vs. Rodeo Rider
      • Library Doors
      • Lighthouses
      • Loft in Space
      • Lookalike
      • Love Nothing Novel
      • The Lunacy and the Lace
      • Man in the Big Pajamas
      • Mermaid
      • Morning Jog
      • Mr. In-Between
      • My Brother's Science Project
      • A Nice Quiet Space
      • Nine
      • Not Fields Afar
      • The Note
      • On Briarwood Roof
      • One-Two Punch//Delivered
      • One Way Ticket
      • Out of Limelight
      • Parallel You
      • The Passenger
      • Perfect
      • Physical
      • Pitch Count
      • Polaroid Manipulations
      • Portrait of Genevieve
      • Pretty Dresses, Petty Thieves
      • Pretty, Ugly
      • Proposal
      • PurgaStories
      • Red Chair to Mars
      • Reentry
      • Return to Fine Arts
      • The Ride of a Lifetime
      • Run-Run Runaway Caboose
      • Saturday
      • Secret Game Workshop
      • Shadows
      • Signals
      • Slideshow
      • Slugger
      • The Small of Her Back
      • Southpaws
      • Spelling Bee
      • Spring of Summer
      • Starry Night
      • Stewart Survives the 7th
      • Stuntgirl
      • Stopover
      • The Stowaway
      • The Super Secret Planet Finder
      • Tail of the Lake Monster
      • Team Bus
      • Telephone
      • Tow Me
      • Turret
      • Usherette
      • Varsity
      • Veranda Nights
      • Wicked Curves
      • We
      • Where's Your Faith?
      • You
      • You Kill Me
  • Suit to Kill, Slip to Thrill
  • Prayers Answered
    • Postcards
    • Pitch Count
    • Where's Your Faith?
    • Spelling Bee
    • You Kill Me
    • Cruisin'
    • Casey's Comeback
    • Archives
  • Library
  • Contact
  • Omnibus
  • Parables
  • Love Stories
  • 5-Minute Stories that Last Forever
  • Miracles
  • Healing
  • Meditations
  • PurgaStories
  • Scenes of a GT Hawk
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